Yes I can

Today started off badly in general. I had cried for a long time last night because my sister with whom I had been arguing has switched to ignoring my existence; she won't return my communication. Then I had trouble waking up. My period was gushing randomly like a geyser. (Sorry for the gross imagery, but, well, it did affect my day.) It was raining. I was late to work. I forgot (forgot!) to eat breakfast for the first time since the start of this year. I had a nosy coworker frustrate me. There was a heinous smell of dead rats in our office from some rats that died above our ceiling tiles. I felt gross and bad and off. But I was determined to get back on track today.

So when I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast, I ate an early lunch of my leftovers--white bean and kale soup--with a side of a piece of whole-grain with almond butter and honey. I bit my lip so badly it bled and bled; finally my boss came in and asked if my nose was bleeding. That's how much blood there was! I blotted it and kept on eating.

Knowing that I'd be eating a late dinner tonight with a visiting friend, I ate a snack of smoked almonds and dried fruit about 3 p.m. When I left work for a minute to pick up my new shipment of contacts, I learned that I somehow never got two boxes previously--six months ago--that I was charged for; no manager was on duty to refund the money, and the woman who was working the counter argued they probably wouldn't give me a refund--"because it's been six months since they came in." Um, do contacts go bad in six months? No. So resell them. I'll deal with it tomorrow, though. I considered popping through Starbucks for a hot chocolate, but I realized what I wanted was to feel better, to feel on track, and that wouldn't do it.

When I got home from work, I immediately felt tired. I wanted to take a nap. I stood by the bed and stretched the top half of my body across it. But I didn't lie down. Instead, I pulled on some exercise clothes and went for a long walk, listening to my mp3 player along the way. I even ran three fairly short stretches during my walk! That probably doesn't sound like much, but it was. The first time I ran past runners--well, what did I expect? that they would point and laugh?--of course they did nothing. I wasn't remarkable--just one of many people running in the park. I must not have looked as foolish as I felt. That experience made me more confident. I went home and took a bath to get all the sweat off. (It is, quite randomly, 65 today.)

When my friend arrived tonight, we walked to dinner. I had a tasty alcoholic drink and ate about 2/3 of my meal--about two bites too many, but not bad. I was aware. I was planning to walk home, but my husband had met us and told me he didn't want to be lonely in the car by himself. (That means, I miss you! Come love on me!) So I rode with him and held his hand. Now I'm home. I got myself back on track today. And I'm going to keep it up tomorrow.