Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Crazy Days

These times, they have been a'crazy.

I decided to launch my wedding planning blog. Great! So much hard work, but so much fun.

Then my boss put in her notice within the week.

So I've been learning my boss's job--as well as doing mine--and trying to juggle normal life and still commit enough time to my wedding blog. Then I realized my wedding blog can be cut back for a few days where the other two cannot. I tend to be a go-hard-or-don't-go person, but I can post every 2 or 3 days for a couple of weeks--it's not the end of the world.

Then our internet went out at home for a few days--a router problem--so I wasn't writing anywhere at all.

I told the director of my organization last week that I want my boss's job. I was very proud of myself. I made a list of the things I have accomplished at my job that are above and beyond the requirements. It was quite a list. I sat him down, gave him the list, and told him honestly that I wanted the job, that I was told that I would move into that position when I was hired (should it be vacated), and that if I did not get the promotion, it would 'put me in an awkward position here.' Clear enough, right?

He told me he would get back to me today but did not. I asked him about it again this afternoon, and he told me that he would get back to me by the end of the week and that he hadn't had time to think through it yet.

But tomorrow afternoon, we'll be driving to Pensacola, FL, for a wedding I'm in. So I asked him if he can talk to me about it before the workday ends tomorrow. He told me he didn't know because he's been so busy. So we'll see.

I deserve that job. I wasn't even nervous about it until today when he put me off again.

Last weekend I hosted a Pampered Chef party. I served a cheesecake that I bought at the weekend farmer's market down the street. This week, I proceeded to eat two more pieces of cheesecake after the party. Cheesecake=lots of calories. Oh, I also ate two of the chocolate raspberry 'muffins' (icing-less cupcakes) I made. Other than that, this past week I have been eating too much cheese; eating past when I am just comfortable into when I am really full; snacking at times I haven't been terribly hungry; and having wine or beer almost every evening.

I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up thrashing my arms as if I'm fighting through cobwebs. My allergies are terrible, despite our best efforts to fix offending elements in our apartment. (I found out how bad they could be when we went somewhere that was not clean last night, though. I couldn't breathe at all, and my eyes kept tearing up.)

I think I have been trying to feed away my overwhelmed feeling that I have right now. Yesterday I thought, What am I doing? I'm not paying attention to myself even though that's what I preach. I mean, I haven't gone completely nuts, but three pieces of cheesecake in one week (with caramel and nuts and marshmallow cream added twice, too) is too much--it's a sign of either avoiding something or taking on too much. I also think that eating dessert daily on my vacation threw me off, reminded my body what that was like (sugarsugarsugar), and I'm still recovering from that.

So this morning, I took the leftover cheesecake to work, along with the leftover chocolate muffins. No alcohol tonight. I ate a big salad with a very small portion of mac'n'cheese for lunch We had a healthy dinner. I am going to eat dessert once this weekend, or have 2 bites of dessert twice--not eat dessert after several meals.

Small diversions from the path don't kill you if you correct yourself. They only throw you off long-term if you let them. And I'm not going to let that happen this time, because this has been the most sensible, gentle, exciting, empowering weight loss I've ever experienced.

6 comments:

Kim said...

You rock. :) I think that says it all.

Oh, and I really want you to get that job. I've got my fingers crossed for you!!

Dynamo360 said...

I love the fact that you just marched in and told him you wanted that job.

In my experience unless you put your foot down they probably would have made you do both your own work and that of your boss, with no title or wage adjustment... even though that is what you are doing.

Good on you!!

I can identify with the feeling overwhelmed piece. I'm sorry your allergies have been acting up so bad and there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day.

You seem to still be functioning in a very self aware space - nothing you can't think through!

Cory said...

I'm so glad that you've put yourself back on track.
Good luck with the job. I hope everything works out well for you. Although, from experience, I've learned to take nothing I'm told by my bosses seriously until it actually happens. Just don't let this keep you from enjoying your weekend.

Salma Gundi said...

As long as you haven't drifted so far off the path that you are forging a new one, you are alright.

I'm right there with you on the overwhelmed bit. If you come up with a strategy to make the world ease up a bit, be sure to let me know :)

Robyn said...

I agree with Kim...."you rock" is about the only thing I can say here.
Best wishes on the job!!!

TrixieBelden said...

You go for telling him you deserve your boss's job and having the information to back it up! Here's a suggestion ... Is there anyone more senior than you at the company that you could go to and ask to put in a good word for you with him? Knowing that his colleagues think so highly of you will help your cause. I can't wait to hear how everything goes this week!