177.4--down 1.6 pounds! And that's been my approximate weight every morning for the last 4 mornings, so I know it's real.
That also means that in this year's weight loss, I've reached the halfway point in my overall weight loss goal--26.2 pounds. (From my highest weight, I'm down over 45 pounds.)
Reaching the halfway point means I get to reward myself if I choose to. My husband and I set aside a small pot of money for my weight-loss rewards, so now I need to think if I want to spend any of it. . . .
Showing posts with label baby steps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby steps. Show all posts
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
In the 170's--and a question for you
179.6
It's not an enormous loss, but I'll take it! Running is giving me awesome muscles (the leg ones are nice, but the ab ones are more impressive to me), so my husband pointed out that I may not be able to expect a big drop at a time when my muscle mass is visibly, palpably increasing pretty rapidly. I wish that weren't true, but maybe it will be--and I'd rather have the muscles than have a more quickly reduced weight. I will be thrilled if I can drop .6 pounds per week at this point, honestly. Doing that would still get me where I need to go.
Of course, I'd be thrilled with a good, old-fashioned 2-lb. drop in a week, too.
I had started doing upper-body exercises in our living room on the mornings I don't run. Then we had a friend from out of town sleep in our living room for a week, so that put that aside. But he's gone now, so it's time to get back on track with that!
Last night my husband, two friends, and I went out to dinner. At dinner, I got a side salad and split an appetizer order of homemade chips with blue cheese and bacon with a friend. (I'm not supposed to eat blue cheese but decided to do it anyway for once.) I was really excited about the chips, but after I ate one, I thought, "These aren't as good as I was hoping they would be." I ate a few more, and my nose started itching--my first allergic reaction to most foods. I ate a couple more, and then I thought, "These also really aren't worth the calories." Instead of just blue cheese, they had a gooey bechamel sauce on them--and not a very good one, honestly. The bacon was nearly nonexistent. So I mentally pushed the plate away from me and tucked my hands under the table--feeling mildly full but not stuffed, and glad I stopped. If they had been fabulous, they would have been worth the calories . . . but they weren't.
One very cool non-scale victory occurred last night. After dinner, the four of us were traveling down a busy street when we saw two dogs dart in and out of the road. I suggested that we stop and see if they had collars to call their owners. One had a collar--with no tag--and the other had no collar. But they were sweet, cute, well-behaved dogs who clearly belonged to someone and also clearly did not have street smarts. (Where I grew up, a wandering outdoor dog was common, but in Midtown Atlanta, it's definitely not.) We spent the rest of the night walking the dogs to a friend's fenced yard, walking all over the area to ask if anyone was missing a dog, and finally taking the dogs to a late-night vet to get checked for one of those subcutaneous tags people put in animals now. At that point, we got a call from another friend who had joined our search that while putting up posters, he had come across the dogs' owner. Apparently the guy had taken off one dog's collar to bathe her and let the other one outside as well. He went back inside for a few minutes, and someone opened his fence to let the dogs out. (Sadly, this doesn't surprise me.) But anyway, my point is this: I went all over the place on foot, sometimes gripping a very strong, big blond lab, sometimes running to catch up with someone--and I never got winded or tired. My body was just capable of doing it, as our bodies are meant to do. It's always exciting to realize that something that would have been a struggle for me previously is easy now!
Back to weight: I've lost 24 pounds this year and I'm 2 pounds from my halfway mark, because--unless I decide I want to stop before I get there--my weight goal is 150 pounds, which will mean a 53 pound loss from my recent high weight (and a 76 pound drop from the highest weight I measured--wow!). I am sure that my weight goal is a lot higher than many other people's goals, but I have no dreams or desires to be a size 4 or 6. A 10 would make me perfectly happy and would, I think, not leave me stressing over each bite I eat like trying to maintain a smaller size might.
I would also, next spring, love to be able to wear a bikini and feel good in it. Not a string thing--I can't imagine something skimpy holding up my boobs without hurting my neck and back--but something that shows my stomach without me feeling entirely self-conscious. (By the way, despite all the talk about her being fat, I think Britney Spears had a pretty awesome body at the VMAs. The outfit wasn't very flattering, but I think a small amount of belly on women is attractive. I would love to have a body like she had at the VMAs. I think holding someone up to the ideal of how she looked at 17, before two pregnancies, is crazy.)
What are your long-term goals? What do you envision for yourself six months or a year from now, health-wise, weight-wise, looks-wise? Are you already planning for a celebration of when you reach some goal you have? Are you saving money for the splurge you may do when you reach a certain milestone? I'd love to hear what you are thinking.
It's not an enormous loss, but I'll take it! Running is giving me awesome muscles (the leg ones are nice, but the ab ones are more impressive to me), so my husband pointed out that I may not be able to expect a big drop at a time when my muscle mass is visibly, palpably increasing pretty rapidly. I wish that weren't true, but maybe it will be--and I'd rather have the muscles than have a more quickly reduced weight. I will be thrilled if I can drop .6 pounds per week at this point, honestly. Doing that would still get me where I need to go.
Of course, I'd be thrilled with a good, old-fashioned 2-lb. drop in a week, too.
I had started doing upper-body exercises in our living room on the mornings I don't run. Then we had a friend from out of town sleep in our living room for a week, so that put that aside. But he's gone now, so it's time to get back on track with that!
Last night my husband, two friends, and I went out to dinner. At dinner, I got a side salad and split an appetizer order of homemade chips with blue cheese and bacon with a friend. (I'm not supposed to eat blue cheese but decided to do it anyway for once.) I was really excited about the chips, but after I ate one, I thought, "These aren't as good as I was hoping they would be." I ate a few more, and my nose started itching--my first allergic reaction to most foods. I ate a couple more, and then I thought, "These also really aren't worth the calories." Instead of just blue cheese, they had a gooey bechamel sauce on them--and not a very good one, honestly. The bacon was nearly nonexistent. So I mentally pushed the plate away from me and tucked my hands under the table--feeling mildly full but not stuffed, and glad I stopped. If they had been fabulous, they would have been worth the calories . . . but they weren't.
One very cool non-scale victory occurred last night. After dinner, the four of us were traveling down a busy street when we saw two dogs dart in and out of the road. I suggested that we stop and see if they had collars to call their owners. One had a collar--with no tag--and the other had no collar. But they were sweet, cute, well-behaved dogs who clearly belonged to someone and also clearly did not have street smarts. (Where I grew up, a wandering outdoor dog was common, but in Midtown Atlanta, it's definitely not.) We spent the rest of the night walking the dogs to a friend's fenced yard, walking all over the area to ask if anyone was missing a dog, and finally taking the dogs to a late-night vet to get checked for one of those subcutaneous tags people put in animals now. At that point, we got a call from another friend who had joined our search that while putting up posters, he had come across the dogs' owner. Apparently the guy had taken off one dog's collar to bathe her and let the other one outside as well. He went back inside for a few minutes, and someone opened his fence to let the dogs out. (Sadly, this doesn't surprise me.) But anyway, my point is this: I went all over the place on foot, sometimes gripping a very strong, big blond lab, sometimes running to catch up with someone--and I never got winded or tired. My body was just capable of doing it, as our bodies are meant to do. It's always exciting to realize that something that would have been a struggle for me previously is easy now!
Back to weight: I've lost 24 pounds this year and I'm 2 pounds from my halfway mark, because--unless I decide I want to stop before I get there--my weight goal is 150 pounds, which will mean a 53 pound loss from my recent high weight (and a 76 pound drop from the highest weight I measured--wow!). I am sure that my weight goal is a lot higher than many other people's goals, but I have no dreams or desires to be a size 4 or 6. A 10 would make me perfectly happy and would, I think, not leave me stressing over each bite I eat like trying to maintain a smaller size might.
I would also, next spring, love to be able to wear a bikini and feel good in it. Not a string thing--I can't imagine something skimpy holding up my boobs without hurting my neck and back--but something that shows my stomach without me feeling entirely self-conscious. (By the way, despite all the talk about her being fat, I think Britney Spears had a pretty awesome body at the VMAs. The outfit wasn't very flattering, but I think a small amount of belly on women is attractive. I would love to have a body like she had at the VMAs. I think holding someone up to the ideal of how she looked at 17, before two pregnancies, is crazy.)
What are your long-term goals? What do you envision for yourself six months or a year from now, health-wise, weight-wise, looks-wise? Are you already planning for a celebration of when you reach some goal you have? Are you saving money for the splurge you may do when you reach a certain milestone? I'd love to hear what you are thinking.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Just a bit farther
As I just emailed one of my friends, I really love running in the early mornings. I hate getting up in the early mornings, as I have never been an early morning person. But there are several factors that make me run in the morning: there's a lower amount of smog then, the weather is cooler, and my stomach is empty or nearly empty without me making any special schedule arrangements for it to be that way. (Running on a half-full or full stomach equals bad cramping problems for me.) When the alarm goes off and I make myself roll out of bed, I usually haven't slept well, and I always think, "I am too tired to do this." But by the time I fasten up my awesome sports bra for women with big boobs and lace up my shoes, I am awake. By the time I am done stretching, I have pumped myself up to go. I get out to the park when it's still dark outside--I can even see a few stars, or, more likely, satellites--but in my first few minutes out there, the bands of gorgeous, muted color that signal sunrise form on the horizon. It's a glorious thing to be outside moving my body through the darkened trees while the sun pulls itself above the horizon.
Yesterday morning when I was running, I decided to push myself to run faster (and therefore farther in my alloted 25 minutes). I was trying to balance pushing myself with not making myself miserable and not pushing myself so hard that I had to walk part of the way. When I got home, I was really excited because of the extra distance that I had traveled. I got my husband to look at Google Earth with me to measure my distance.
And then I was a bit disappointed. I hadn't run as far as I had thought I had. All the curves in the path are tricky, and I'm not good at guessing distances anyway.
My husband was a bit surprised when we discussed it last night over dinner. "But you nearly ran two miles! That's amazing!"
"But I should be running 2.25 now to be on track."
After he asked me how I felt on the run and afterward, I admitted that I feel like I could have pushed myself a bit harder. The problem was, I was afraid of having to switch to walking at some point and then feeling disheartened because of that. But after the run, I was barely sore. (You know, really sore is bad, but a little sore is good indicator of growth.) And today, I can barely tell I ran that hard yesterday.
So tomorrow morning, I am going to push myself a bit harder again and see what happens. I'll still be one of the slowest (if not THE slowest) runner in the park, and that's okay. But I'm going to see if I can do the whole 25 minutes at the pace I started with yesterday. If I have to stop to walk, that's okay; it's a day when I'm testing my limits. If I succeed, I'll know I can get that much of a better workout and get that much closer to my 5k length.
It's one month until my 5k, too! I'm so pumped about that.
In other news, we may move my blog location soon. I've been ruminating on that for a few months. My husband has had two major papers he's been working on for his Ph.D. thesis, but those are both due today, and we may pursue the change once he finishes those.
Yesterday morning when I was running, I decided to push myself to run faster (and therefore farther in my alloted 25 minutes). I was trying to balance pushing myself with not making myself miserable and not pushing myself so hard that I had to walk part of the way. When I got home, I was really excited because of the extra distance that I had traveled. I got my husband to look at Google Earth with me to measure my distance.
And then I was a bit disappointed. I hadn't run as far as I had thought I had. All the curves in the path are tricky, and I'm not good at guessing distances anyway.
My husband was a bit surprised when we discussed it last night over dinner. "But you nearly ran two miles! That's amazing!"
"But I should be running 2.25 now to be on track."
After he asked me how I felt on the run and afterward, I admitted that I feel like I could have pushed myself a bit harder. The problem was, I was afraid of having to switch to walking at some point and then feeling disheartened because of that. But after the run, I was barely sore. (You know, really sore is bad, but a little sore is good indicator of growth.) And today, I can barely tell I ran that hard yesterday.
So tomorrow morning, I am going to push myself a bit harder again and see what happens. I'll still be one of the slowest (if not THE slowest) runner in the park, and that's okay. But I'm going to see if I can do the whole 25 minutes at the pace I started with yesterday. If I have to stop to walk, that's okay; it's a day when I'm testing my limits. If I succeed, I'll know I can get that much of a better workout and get that much closer to my 5k length.
It's one month until my 5k, too! I'm so pumped about that.
In other news, we may move my blog location soon. I've been ruminating on that for a few months. My husband has had two major papers he's been working on for his Ph.D. thesis, but those are both due today, and we may pursue the change once he finishes those.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
I'm running again!
Trying to give my life a sense of balance, I created a calendar of things I want to do over the next 16 months. I made the calendar several weeks ago and put "Start running again" under the first week of September. Today was my deadline to start.
Several days ago, I went through the Couch to 5k plan to see where I thought I should try to pick up. I decided to start with week 6--close to where it's running only, but still with intermittent walks in the runs. I wasn't sure how much stamina I had lost since I stopped running in the July heat. I set up my mp3 player with the music and beeps for Run 6A.
Yesterday, in anticipation of the run this morning, I set out my running clothes and shoes on my dresser. I put my mp3 player on top of them. Whenever I saw them, I mentally psyched myself up about going for a run today, and I could feel it working. I felt excited about getting back to that part of my life.
I woke up at 6:30 a.m. The room was dark, and I was disoriented about why the alarm was going off when it was still dark outside. Then I remembered the exercise, and I inwardly groaned. Luckily, my husband has decided he's going to work out at the gym when I run this fall, so as soon as I rolled out of bed, he did too. He turned on the lights and made the bed while I was in the bathroom, so when I got back to put my running clothes on, I felt less tempted to crawl back in bed.
I worked on pumping myself up with positive thoughts this morning. That might sound silly, but I find the frame of mind around exercise can be just as important as the physical elements. "I can do this." "I'm up this morning taking care of myself." Things like those statements were going through my head as I turned on my mp3 player and began stretching.
Ten minutes later, I went outside. I had been worried about the dark, but with streetlights, there was enough light, and there were other people exercising in the park. There was never a time when I couldn't see someone else exercising near me, which was good for safety reasons. A number of homeless people were also present in the park; living in Midtown Atlanta gets me hit up for money regularly, but people leave me alone when I'm running. And anyway, it was early enough that the homeless people were mostly (sadly) stretched out on benches sleeping.
I walked my 10-minute warm-up and then started a slow jog for my first run. After the 5 minutes of the first run were up and my mp3 player beeped for me to switch to a walk, I was amazed at how good I still felt. "I could run more!" I thought excitedly. But I stuck to the program. At the end of my exercise, I actually kept running for a couple of extra minutes and increased my speed a bit.
I'm definitely a bit sore now, but not painfully so. I'm very excited about getting back on track with my running! I am aiming for a 5k at the end of October now to give myself plenty of time to get ready.
For those of you who have been thinking about doing C25k, if you are in the US, you would be hard-pressed to find a better time to start than with the temperature drop of fall. (Atlanta is not cool right now--it's 90 degrees at the moment--and it's very humid. But it's much more comfy than it was even a week ago.) I walked daily for a couple of months before I started C25k, and that gave me a decent base level to start from. I'm excited about finishing the program this time, and with winter in GA being mild, I should be able to keep running through the year. (Until NEXT July, maybe--we'll see.) As I get more fit from running, I also have other fun stuff in my schedule for later, like hiking, weight lifting, rock-climbing, and kayaking. I plan to keep at this program--even if I have to take intermittent breaks for whatever reason--until I am comfortable in my body like I was as a child.
Several days ago, I went through the Couch to 5k plan to see where I thought I should try to pick up. I decided to start with week 6--close to where it's running only, but still with intermittent walks in the runs. I wasn't sure how much stamina I had lost since I stopped running in the July heat. I set up my mp3 player with the music and beeps for Run 6A.
Yesterday, in anticipation of the run this morning, I set out my running clothes and shoes on my dresser. I put my mp3 player on top of them. Whenever I saw them, I mentally psyched myself up about going for a run today, and I could feel it working. I felt excited about getting back to that part of my life.
I woke up at 6:30 a.m. The room was dark, and I was disoriented about why the alarm was going off when it was still dark outside. Then I remembered the exercise, and I inwardly groaned. Luckily, my husband has decided he's going to work out at the gym when I run this fall, so as soon as I rolled out of bed, he did too. He turned on the lights and made the bed while I was in the bathroom, so when I got back to put my running clothes on, I felt less tempted to crawl back in bed.
I worked on pumping myself up with positive thoughts this morning. That might sound silly, but I find the frame of mind around exercise can be just as important as the physical elements. "I can do this." "I'm up this morning taking care of myself." Things like those statements were going through my head as I turned on my mp3 player and began stretching.
Ten minutes later, I went outside. I had been worried about the dark, but with streetlights, there was enough light, and there were other people exercising in the park. There was never a time when I couldn't see someone else exercising near me, which was good for safety reasons. A number of homeless people were also present in the park; living in Midtown Atlanta gets me hit up for money regularly, but people leave me alone when I'm running. And anyway, it was early enough that the homeless people were mostly (sadly) stretched out on benches sleeping.
I walked my 10-minute warm-up and then started a slow jog for my first run. After the 5 minutes of the first run were up and my mp3 player beeped for me to switch to a walk, I was amazed at how good I still felt. "I could run more!" I thought excitedly. But I stuck to the program. At the end of my exercise, I actually kept running for a couple of extra minutes and increased my speed a bit.
I'm definitely a bit sore now, but not painfully so. I'm very excited about getting back on track with my running! I am aiming for a 5k at the end of October now to give myself plenty of time to get ready.
For those of you who have been thinking about doing C25k, if you are in the US, you would be hard-pressed to find a better time to start than with the temperature drop of fall. (Atlanta is not cool right now--it's 90 degrees at the moment--and it's very humid. But it's much more comfy than it was even a week ago.) I walked daily for a couple of months before I started C25k, and that gave me a decent base level to start from. I'm excited about finishing the program this time, and with winter in GA being mild, I should be able to keep running through the year. (Until NEXT July, maybe--we'll see.) As I get more fit from running, I also have other fun stuff in my schedule for later, like hiking, weight lifting, rock-climbing, and kayaking. I plan to keep at this program--even if I have to take intermittent breaks for whatever reason--until I am comfortable in my body like I was as a child.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Zero sum game
Well, I haven't lost any weight this month--0 net loss for the month of August.But.
0 net gain for the month of August.
And sometimes that's what we can hope for. My clothes are not tighter; in fact, it seems my smaller clothes fit me better even without an additional loss. I'm buying 12s in tops and dresses, 14s in pants.
I've been holding tight at 180-point-something.
I've been dealing with a lot adjusting to my food allergies, and now I'm being tested for celiac disease as well. And I have not been exercising, as I mentioned before.
So I'll take holding on to my current weight. This week is when I begin to run again, and even if that doesn't make my actual weight lower, it will make me feel better, be healthier, and look better. I'm pleased--if a little nervous--to get back on track with the running. I know I can do it, since I was doing it just a couple of months ago.
Yay for cooler weather!
What I'm hoping for is to average 5 pounds a month still. That's a much slower loss per month than most people are going for, but I'm finding slow and steady is what works for me. And to think about being 20 pounds smaller by Christmas is amazing.
However, seriously, I will take 5 pounds smaller by Christmas, or 10 pounds. Or 5 pounds with a 4% drop in body fat. (It's dropped 5-6% since January, after all.) Or if I have to, I'll take maintenance while my body and brain figure out better how to deal with these food allergies/intolerances.
It's been about three years since I was at my highest weight--almost exactly, actually. I tipped the scales at 223 at one point, and then I got bigger--but I refused to weigh myself past that point. I was miserable in so many ways, and it took breaking up with my first fiance for me to shake me up to start dealing honestly with my life. Financially, professionally, personally--I had a lot of work to do.
After I met my husband, I started eating healthier and working out regularly. I got my weight down to about 187. After we got married, though, I stopped working out and started eating lots of sweets. Seriously, lots of them. And eating until I didn't feel good on a pretty regular basis.
By last Christmas, I weighed in at 203. Since January 1, I've lost--and kept off--23 pounds, and this time I am not planning to let that weight start creeping back up. Barring something terrible like an illness that keeps me bedridden for months, I am going to keep this weight off, keep the level of health I have attained.
One of my friends was laughing recently about another friend of ours who gained 5 pounds and was dieting to get it off. This dieting girl is thin. I laughed too for a second but then grew quiet. "Well," I said, "I guess that's how you keep the weight gain from becoming a real problem." If you deal with it while it's 5 pounds, you're doing a whole lot better than if you wait until it's 20 or 40 or 100. So if I'm maintaining for a while, that's my goal. If I'm losing, even better. I just don't want to lose heart, period. I and my health are too important for that.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Happy weight loss times
As you can see from my tickers, I've lost four pounds this month toward my five-pound month goal. It's going to be crazy if I have a weight of 180-point-something by the end of the month. If it happens, I will be so close to--just a week or two away from!--the 170s, a land I haven't visited since perhaps my sophomore year of college.
My husband pointed out that if I continue to average about 1 lb. a week (which has been close to my average this year), by the end of the year I will be a couple of pounds away from my goal weight. Isn't that a crazy idea? "I want to lose 50 pounds in a year" isn't a goal I have said, and when you break it down by the weeks, it doesn't even sound like much per week. But it sure adds up. Will it happen? I don't know, especially with all my food juggling that I'm doing with the food allergy issues now. But what an exciting thought it is! I told him it would be like moving even further back in time to my 10th grade or so weight. (I thought I was fat then in a size 10. Boy, how wrong I was!)
One thing that has been interesting lately is that I find myself feeling my face with my hands, noticing how strange it feels to have my facial bones emerging from the veil of fat they had been hidden behind. My husband has noticed the same thing about my knees, ribs, and other various bones. Not that I'm suddenly super-skinny--nor would I want to be, really--but now we can feel bones that before were so cushioned that they weren't able to be easily felt.
In the spring, I tried on sundresses at Ann Taylor. None of the sizes fit just right, and the dresses were about $150, so I didn't buy one. I tried on one of those dresses again this week, on clearance for $60, and got a size 12! It's going to be perfect for the wedding we are attending next weekend. (I still wear a 16 in pants, though I think I might be in some 14s if I tried them now. My top and bottom used to always be the same size, but that ended when I had abdominal surgery a few years ago.)
These are happy weight loss times. Even as I am feeling down about food and stressing over the food allergies, I am trying--trying--to keep in mind that I should eat reasonable portions, watch my sugar intake, and eat lots of veggies. Fortunately, those actions have at least partly become habit these days. I'm still not counting or tracking anything specific, and I feel good about that.
My husband pointed out that if I continue to average about 1 lb. a week (which has been close to my average this year), by the end of the year I will be a couple of pounds away from my goal weight. Isn't that a crazy idea? "I want to lose 50 pounds in a year" isn't a goal I have said, and when you break it down by the weeks, it doesn't even sound like much per week. But it sure adds up. Will it happen? I don't know, especially with all my food juggling that I'm doing with the food allergy issues now. But what an exciting thought it is! I told him it would be like moving even further back in time to my 10th grade or so weight. (I thought I was fat then in a size 10. Boy, how wrong I was!)
One thing that has been interesting lately is that I find myself feeling my face with my hands, noticing how strange it feels to have my facial bones emerging from the veil of fat they had been hidden behind. My husband has noticed the same thing about my knees, ribs, and other various bones. Not that I'm suddenly super-skinny--nor would I want to be, really--but now we can feel bones that before were so cushioned that they weren't able to be easily felt.
In the spring, I tried on sundresses at Ann Taylor. None of the sizes fit just right, and the dresses were about $150, so I didn't buy one. I tried on one of those dresses again this week, on clearance for $60, and got a size 12! It's going to be perfect for the wedding we are attending next weekend. (I still wear a 16 in pants, though I think I might be in some 14s if I tried them now. My top and bottom used to always be the same size, but that ended when I had abdominal surgery a few years ago.)
These are happy weight loss times. Even as I am feeling down about food and stressing over the food allergies, I am trying--trying--to keep in mind that I should eat reasonable portions, watch my sugar intake, and eat lots of veggies. Fortunately, those actions have at least partly become habit these days. I'm still not counting or tracking anything specific, and I feel good about that.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Doing It the Bob Greene Way
You know, it's funny. I was getting pretty frustrated with myself about this whole weight-loss thing lately. Then I realized a few things:
1. Despite a pretty large stress load lately, the way I have been eating, I have been maintaining my weight loss, which is about 20 pounds lower than I was in December and about 40 pounds lower than my highest weight.
2. I tell everyone else that sometimes you have so much going on in your life that you can't expect yourself to exert a large amount of energy on weight loss as well as handle the other stuff--and I need to accept that I get into that same place sometimes (not long-term, just for now!).
3. Although running has been great for my body in terms of how I feel and how I look (even Dan's Ph.D. advisor, who is normally rather oblivious to me, recently commented, "Your training is really looking great on you"), when I started training for running a 5k, I went from exercising 30-45 minutes daily to exercising 30-45 minutes every other day. If you look at people who keep weight off long-term (according to the National Weight Loss Registry), over 80 percent of them exercise about an hour a day. I'm definitely not there at this point. Moreover, that's okay! Running has been moving me into a better appreciation of my body and its abilities. It's also done a lot for my self-esteem. But if I'm going to gear up for long-term weight loss and weight-loss maintenance, I will have to keep moving forwards into being more active in the long term.
I'm the kind of person who likes to act quickly. Sometimes I jump head-long into things just to realize they aren't right for me or won't work with me/for me. When I realized that I need to be exercising more to jump-start my weight loss, my first idea was to figure out something RIGHT NOW and start on it RIGHT AWAY.
Then I checked myself. The reason this post is entitled "Doing It the Bob Greene Way" is that in The Best Life Diet (the last diet book I read--in January--and the last one I intend to read for a long time unless I'm researching exercise), Bob says that one problem with many diets is that they have us jump into dieting in exactly the way I often respond to things (the way I have tried not to do it this time). We get really gung-ho, we go at the diet and/or exercise passionately for a short while, and then we start slipping up. We start slipping up because the diet/exercise we are doing isn't really sustainable in our lives; it's too restrictive, or too hard-core. When we slip up, we feel like we are failing, and when we feel like we are failing, we give up--either gradually or quickly. For us to create sustainable weight loss, he says, we need to ease into the process of losing weight instead of trying to jump-start it. Make a few changes, he says, and watch the weight start to come off slowly. Once you are used to those changes, make a few more. Work your way into being someone who exercises regularly. Work your way into being someone who eats meals that are high in veggies, fruits, and whole grains. Treat yourself gently and lovingly, not as someone who needs to be beaten or whipped into shape at a frenzied pace.
It works--it's just not a quick fix, and that's hard for people. But think about it: would you rather be 20 pounds lighter at the end of this year, or would you rather stay where you are now? Would you rather lose 15 pounds in three weeks, but then gain it back six months later? Would you rather be reliant on a diet or exercise plan that makes you miserable?
I sometimes think to myself that if I had lost something like 5 pounds a year from the time I was originally overweight, I would have hit my goal weight by now. Even now, I'm like, But 5 pounds?? That's tiny! And I am not suggesting that it's a huge loss. But a slow loss of 5 or 20 or 40 pounds in a year is a much better situation to be in than sitting somewhere, miserably thinking how you have failed at yet another extreme or odd diet (or how you have gained back that weight yet again).
I remember when one of my close friends was 185 pounds and trying to lose weight. I was somewhere like 215 and trying to lose weight. 185 seemed like a distant, nearly impossible dream. Now I'm the girl at 185! That is NOT a bad feeling.
My life right now is like this: I was promoted recently and am learning that job as well as taking on the stress and responsibility of being the head of my department. There are people who clearly think I should not have the position I have at 26 years of age--I don't let them stress me out, but I know they are there waiting to see what happens. I am working two jobs until I find the replacement for my previous job, which means I am juggling the paperwork, the office visits, the phone calls, the questions from homeowners, etc., that two people normally handle. I am interviewing for that previous job I held. I have worked a pretty decent number of late nights lately, and even when I get home from work at a normal time, I am completely exhausted--completely exhausted. I, who normally enjoy cooking, have come home too tired to cook or do anything day after day. I have gone to bed at 8 p.m. several nights, 9 p.m. on others--and still have felt too tired to get up to run some days, choosing instead to sleep 10 or 11 hours a night.
So is now the time to try to push myself to a new level of exercising to make sure my weight loss shoots up? No, it's not. I can--and have been trying to--be aware of what I eat on a regular basis, continuing to keep sweets in check as an occasional treat, not using enormous levels of fat in foods, not eating fried foods too often, focusing on having at least 5 fruit and veggie servings a day. In other words, I can and have been trying to maintain my current level of commitment to my health. But that's the limit of my energy when it comes to weight loss right now. I'd still like to lose weight by my birthday (a month from today), so I have changed my ticker from 10 pounds (which ain't happenin', honey) to 5 pounds. If it happens, great. If not, but I maintain or lose a bit before my birthday, I will certainly consider that a success. Sometimes maintaining your pace is an enormous success; I know that all too well from the times I've dieted and given up! . . . I know all too well that feeling of anxiety and sadness when the weight starts creeping back up and you go, "Oh, here it goes" and don't feel the energy to stop the upward change. If I maintain or lose just a bit now, I'll be doing very well. It's going against my personality to think that way, but it's true.
In a few weeks, I will have hired my replacement for my previous position. I will train her (all the final candidates are women), she will start to attend some of the evening/weekend meetings I currently attend, and my stress will ease. Some of the stress will ease in the coming month, and the rest of it should ease up some in 2-3 months. If I have to wait a month or two to gear up my exercise to a higher level and start seeing a regular drop on the scales, that is okay.
1. Despite a pretty large stress load lately, the way I have been eating, I have been maintaining my weight loss, which is about 20 pounds lower than I was in December and about 40 pounds lower than my highest weight.
2. I tell everyone else that sometimes you have so much going on in your life that you can't expect yourself to exert a large amount of energy on weight loss as well as handle the other stuff--and I need to accept that I get into that same place sometimes (not long-term, just for now!).
3. Although running has been great for my body in terms of how I feel and how I look (even Dan's Ph.D. advisor, who is normally rather oblivious to me, recently commented, "Your training is really looking great on you"), when I started training for running a 5k, I went from exercising 30-45 minutes daily to exercising 30-45 minutes every other day. If you look at people who keep weight off long-term (according to the National Weight Loss Registry), over 80 percent of them exercise about an hour a day. I'm definitely not there at this point. Moreover, that's okay! Running has been moving me into a better appreciation of my body and its abilities. It's also done a lot for my self-esteem. But if I'm going to gear up for long-term weight loss and weight-loss maintenance, I will have to keep moving forwards into being more active in the long term.
I'm the kind of person who likes to act quickly. Sometimes I jump head-long into things just to realize they aren't right for me or won't work with me/for me. When I realized that I need to be exercising more to jump-start my weight loss, my first idea was to figure out something RIGHT NOW and start on it RIGHT AWAY.
Then I checked myself. The reason this post is entitled "Doing It the Bob Greene Way" is that in The Best Life Diet (the last diet book I read--in January--and the last one I intend to read for a long time unless I'm researching exercise), Bob says that one problem with many diets is that they have us jump into dieting in exactly the way I often respond to things (the way I have tried not to do it this time). We get really gung-ho, we go at the diet and/or exercise passionately for a short while, and then we start slipping up. We start slipping up because the diet/exercise we are doing isn't really sustainable in our lives; it's too restrictive, or too hard-core. When we slip up, we feel like we are failing, and when we feel like we are failing, we give up--either gradually or quickly. For us to create sustainable weight loss, he says, we need to ease into the process of losing weight instead of trying to jump-start it. Make a few changes, he says, and watch the weight start to come off slowly. Once you are used to those changes, make a few more. Work your way into being someone who exercises regularly. Work your way into being someone who eats meals that are high in veggies, fruits, and whole grains. Treat yourself gently and lovingly, not as someone who needs to be beaten or whipped into shape at a frenzied pace.
It works--it's just not a quick fix, and that's hard for people. But think about it: would you rather be 20 pounds lighter at the end of this year, or would you rather stay where you are now? Would you rather lose 15 pounds in three weeks, but then gain it back six months later? Would you rather be reliant on a diet or exercise plan that makes you miserable?
I sometimes think to myself that if I had lost something like 5 pounds a year from the time I was originally overweight, I would have hit my goal weight by now. Even now, I'm like, But 5 pounds?? That's tiny! And I am not suggesting that it's a huge loss. But a slow loss of 5 or 20 or 40 pounds in a year is a much better situation to be in than sitting somewhere, miserably thinking how you have failed at yet another extreme or odd diet (or how you have gained back that weight yet again).
I remember when one of my close friends was 185 pounds and trying to lose weight. I was somewhere like 215 and trying to lose weight. 185 seemed like a distant, nearly impossible dream. Now I'm the girl at 185! That is NOT a bad feeling.
My life right now is like this: I was promoted recently and am learning that job as well as taking on the stress and responsibility of being the head of my department. There are people who clearly think I should not have the position I have at 26 years of age--I don't let them stress me out, but I know they are there waiting to see what happens. I am working two jobs until I find the replacement for my previous job, which means I am juggling the paperwork, the office visits, the phone calls, the questions from homeowners, etc., that two people normally handle. I am interviewing for that previous job I held. I have worked a pretty decent number of late nights lately, and even when I get home from work at a normal time, I am completely exhausted--completely exhausted. I, who normally enjoy cooking, have come home too tired to cook or do anything day after day. I have gone to bed at 8 p.m. several nights, 9 p.m. on others--and still have felt too tired to get up to run some days, choosing instead to sleep 10 or 11 hours a night.
So is now the time to try to push myself to a new level of exercising to make sure my weight loss shoots up? No, it's not. I can--and have been trying to--be aware of what I eat on a regular basis, continuing to keep sweets in check as an occasional treat, not using enormous levels of fat in foods, not eating fried foods too often, focusing on having at least 5 fruit and veggie servings a day. In other words, I can and have been trying to maintain my current level of commitment to my health. But that's the limit of my energy when it comes to weight loss right now. I'd still like to lose weight by my birthday (a month from today), so I have changed my ticker from 10 pounds (which ain't happenin', honey) to 5 pounds. If it happens, great. If not, but I maintain or lose a bit before my birthday, I will certainly consider that a success. Sometimes maintaining your pace is an enormous success; I know that all too well from the times I've dieted and given up! . . . I know all too well that feeling of anxiety and sadness when the weight starts creeping back up and you go, "Oh, here it goes" and don't feel the energy to stop the upward change. If I maintain or lose just a bit now, I'll be doing very well. It's going against my personality to think that way, but it's true.
In a few weeks, I will have hired my replacement for my previous position. I will train her (all the final candidates are women), she will start to attend some of the evening/weekend meetings I currently attend, and my stress will ease. Some of the stress will ease in the coming month, and the rest of it should ease up some in 2-3 months. If I have to wait a month or two to gear up my exercise to a higher level and start seeing a regular drop on the scales, that is okay.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Crazy Days
These times, they have been a'crazy.
I decided to launch my wedding planning blog. Great! So much hard work, but so much fun.
Then my boss put in her notice within the week.
So I've been learning my boss's job--as well as doing mine--and trying to juggle normal life and still commit enough time to my wedding blog. Then I realized my wedding blog can be cut back for a few days where the other two cannot. I tend to be a go-hard-or-don't-go person, but I can post every 2 or 3 days for a couple of weeks--it's not the end of the world.
Then our internet went out at home for a few days--a router problem--so I wasn't writing anywhere at all.
I told the director of my organization last week that I want my boss's job. I was very proud of myself. I made a list of the things I have accomplished at my job that are above and beyond the requirements. It was quite a list. I sat him down, gave him the list, and told him honestly that I wanted the job, that I was told that I would move into that position when I was hired (should it be vacated), and that if I did not get the promotion, it would 'put me in an awkward position here.' Clear enough, right?
He told me he would get back to me today but did not. I asked him about it again this afternoon, and he told me that he would get back to me by the end of the week and that he hadn't had time to think through it yet.
But tomorrow afternoon, we'll be driving to Pensacola, FL, for a wedding I'm in. So I asked him if he can talk to me about it before the workday ends tomorrow. He told me he didn't know because he's been so busy. So we'll see.
I deserve that job. I wasn't even nervous about it until today when he put me off again.
Last weekend I hosted a Pampered Chef party. I served a cheesecake that I bought at the weekend farmer's market down the street. This week, I proceeded to eat two more pieces of cheesecake after the party. Cheesecake=lots of calories. Oh, I also ate two of the chocolate raspberry 'muffins' (icing-less cupcakes) I made. Other than that, this past week I have been eating too much cheese; eating past when I am just comfortable into when I am really full; snacking at times I haven't been terribly hungry; and having wine or beer almost every evening.
I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up thrashing my arms as if I'm fighting through cobwebs. My allergies are terrible, despite our best efforts to fix offending elements in our apartment. (I found out how bad they could be when we went somewhere that was not clean last night, though. I couldn't breathe at all, and my eyes kept tearing up.)
I think I have been trying to feed away my overwhelmed feeling that I have right now. Yesterday I thought, What am I doing? I'm not paying attention to myself even though that's what I preach. I mean, I haven't gone completely nuts, but three pieces of cheesecake in one week (with caramel and nuts and marshmallow cream added twice, too) is too much--it's a sign of either avoiding something or taking on too much. I also think that eating dessert daily on my vacation threw me off, reminded my body what that was like (sugarsugarsugar), and I'm still recovering from that.
So this morning, I took the leftover cheesecake to work, along with the leftover chocolate muffins. No alcohol tonight. I ate a big salad with a very small portion of mac'n'cheese for lunch We had a healthy dinner. I am going to eat dessert once this weekend, or have 2 bites of dessert twice--not eat dessert after several meals.
Small diversions from the path don't kill you if you correct yourself. They only throw you off long-term if you let them. And I'm not going to let that happen this time, because this has been the most sensible, gentle, exciting, empowering weight loss I've ever experienced.
I decided to launch my wedding planning blog. Great! So much hard work, but so much fun.
Then my boss put in her notice within the week.
So I've been learning my boss's job--as well as doing mine--and trying to juggle normal life and still commit enough time to my wedding blog. Then I realized my wedding blog can be cut back for a few days where the other two cannot. I tend to be a go-hard-or-don't-go person, but I can post every 2 or 3 days for a couple of weeks--it's not the end of the world.
Then our internet went out at home for a few days--a router problem--so I wasn't writing anywhere at all.
I told the director of my organization last week that I want my boss's job. I was very proud of myself. I made a list of the things I have accomplished at my job that are above and beyond the requirements. It was quite a list. I sat him down, gave him the list, and told him honestly that I wanted the job, that I was told that I would move into that position when I was hired (should it be vacated), and that if I did not get the promotion, it would 'put me in an awkward position here.' Clear enough, right?
He told me he would get back to me today but did not. I asked him about it again this afternoon, and he told me that he would get back to me by the end of the week and that he hadn't had time to think through it yet.
But tomorrow afternoon, we'll be driving to Pensacola, FL, for a wedding I'm in. So I asked him if he can talk to me about it before the workday ends tomorrow. He told me he didn't know because he's been so busy. So we'll see.
I deserve that job. I wasn't even nervous about it until today when he put me off again.
Last weekend I hosted a Pampered Chef party. I served a cheesecake that I bought at the weekend farmer's market down the street. This week, I proceeded to eat two more pieces of cheesecake after the party. Cheesecake=lots of calories. Oh, I also ate two of the chocolate raspberry 'muffins' (icing-less cupcakes) I made. Other than that, this past week I have been eating too much cheese; eating past when I am just comfortable into when I am really full; snacking at times I haven't been terribly hungry; and having wine or beer almost every evening.
I haven't been sleeping well. I wake up thrashing my arms as if I'm fighting through cobwebs. My allergies are terrible, despite our best efforts to fix offending elements in our apartment. (I found out how bad they could be when we went somewhere that was not clean last night, though. I couldn't breathe at all, and my eyes kept tearing up.)
I think I have been trying to feed away my overwhelmed feeling that I have right now. Yesterday I thought, What am I doing? I'm not paying attention to myself even though that's what I preach. I mean, I haven't gone completely nuts, but three pieces of cheesecake in one week (with caramel and nuts and marshmallow cream added twice, too) is too much--it's a sign of either avoiding something or taking on too much. I also think that eating dessert daily on my vacation threw me off, reminded my body what that was like (sugarsugarsugar), and I'm still recovering from that.
So this morning, I took the leftover cheesecake to work, along with the leftover chocolate muffins. No alcohol tonight. I ate a big salad with a very small portion of mac'n'cheese for lunch We had a healthy dinner. I am going to eat dessert once this weekend, or have 2 bites of dessert twice--not eat dessert after several meals.
Small diversions from the path don't kill you if you correct yourself. They only throw you off long-term if you let them. And I'm not going to let that happen this time, because this has been the most sensible, gentle, exciting, empowering weight loss I've ever experienced.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
I'm here, just . . .
. . . 3000 miles away at the moment. We're on vacation in Oregon. But I'll be back and alone (my husband is going to a conference in CA for a week after this) soon, so I'm sure I'll be posting lots next week.
This has been a fascinating vacation, for while I have indulged more often than usual, I have used the realization that stuffing myself makes me miserable to keep myself in check; I have enjoyed veggie-packed meals because I was craving them; I have realized that I not only am not craving desserts as I was before--I also cannot tolerate them in the same abundance as I used to; and I have (while not running--doesn't work with the schedule and weather) happily exercised with walking, hiking, etc. AND have realized I miss running. MISS it--Really!
This has also been a thoroughly enjoyable vacation because my husband and I saved money for it for half a year. Knowing the budget for our trip and knowing everything was paid for in advance has been marvelous. We're never getting back into consumer debt again--I swear!
This has been a fascinating vacation, for while I have indulged more often than usual, I have used the realization that stuffing myself makes me miserable to keep myself in check; I have enjoyed veggie-packed meals because I was craving them; I have realized that I not only am not craving desserts as I was before--I also cannot tolerate them in the same abundance as I used to; and I have (while not running--doesn't work with the schedule and weather) happily exercised with walking, hiking, etc. AND have realized I miss running. MISS it--Really!
This has also been a thoroughly enjoyable vacation because my husband and I saved money for it for half a year. Knowing the budget for our trip and knowing everything was paid for in advance has been marvelous. We're never getting back into consumer debt again--I swear!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Trying to explain what I've been trying to do
Here's part of a chat I had with my best friend, who has recently moved down the street from me (like when we were kids! only in a different city) and started C25K. The chat illuminates part of what I've been working on mentally and emotionally since January:
me: if you mean that you can justify not working out if you think of it that way, so can i. but i remind myself that if i am bullshitting myself, the only one that suffers is me
8:32 AM Margaret: i'm still sore
8:34 AM me: yeah
i will feel alright
8:35 AM and even be okay walking
and then the first running step i take
i can feel the soreness
not like shin splints
but very mild similar pains
not enough to keep me from going
not enough to keep me from going
but you also moved this weekend--is your upper body sore?
Margaret: yep, but my legs are the worst
8:36 AM they are very heavy
me: hmmm
i wonder if you pushed yourself too hard
Margaret: i don't know
i don't really think so
it's not miserable
| 6 minutes |
8:42 AM Margaret: i don't want to not run tomorrow, but ....
| 7 minutes |
8:50 AM me: it's okay not to
the point is to take care of yourself
right?
i mean part of the point is running
but running is about taking care of your body
Margaret: yeah
me: and if taking care of your body means waiting another day
then so be it
8:51 AM you had a very taxing weekend, body-wise
Margaret: that's true, but it would be hard to start again if i stop
me: ah, that's where you have to work on letting go of the perfectionism
just as i have been doing :
:)
8:52 AM waiting an extra day or two is only 'quitting' if you live in a perfect world
and we don't
Margaret: it's not perfectionism i'm worried about it procastination
me: you're not procrastinating if you're in pain
Margaret: i'm very good at that kind of logic
8:53 AM me: it's been very good for me to always try to keep in mind taking care of myself
sometimes the answer is NOT to exercise
and sometimes it is
i don't know
8:54 AM it's working for me, but i can't really explain it beyond that
8:55 AM Margaret: hmmm... i know myself and i can totally logic myself out of working out
Margaret: i mean i can make excuses all day
that's true
me: and that keeps me in check because i am being very honest with myself at all times
or trying to be, at least
Margaret: yeah
8:57 AM me: if you're just beating youself into submission to work out
. . . i guess i've come to see that's no answer in the long run, at least for me
because eventually i'll rebel if i'm 'punishing' myself into shape
but if i'm doing it to take care of myself
8:58 AM there's nothing to rebel against
Margaret: that's very good stuff
hard to get into that mindset
me: yeah, it's definitely a process
i sent you that o magazine article, didn't i? that talked about having empathy for the self?
Margaret: i'll see how i feel tomorrow
8:59 AM and i'll be prepared to go
me: yeah, that's smart, too. because you will probably feel somewhat better tomorrow.
Margaret: yep
me: the other thing is, if i just don't feel like going but don't have a good reason, i just pull on my clothes and get the forward momentum, and then i know i'll be really disappointed in myself if i don't go
so i end up going
Keepin' on keepin' on
The last few days have thrown me off a bit emotionally. The biggest thing was finding out that I am allergic to a huge variety of molds, grasses, animals, trees, etc. *Sigh* My husband and I are trying to figure out what changes to make in our house to deal with that. Because we are careful with money, we have it for things we need it for, so it's not a problem to change things in our apartment. It's just a pain in the butt and requires energy that the allergies are already sapping from me some.
Also, my husband takes the second/last part of his mid-Ph.D. quals exam tomorrow. I am confident he will do well, but I'm still feeling a bit nervous for him. It will be nice to have it over with. He's struggled, somewhat, with preparing for it because of his accident in November. (For those who missed that post, he was crossing a street in a crosswalk when he was hit by a car that was traveling about 35 mph on impact.) He spends 4-5 hours a week in PT and is often exhausted, achy, and/or cold when he's not in PT. So even though he's brilliant (really--he is), getting ready for this test, which is draining under the best of circumstances, has been hard on him.
But in happier news (and that last news WILL be happy when it's over tomorrow, too), I did Day 1 of Week 5 of C25k yesterday. It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as hard as I was expecting it to be. It helped that it was a bit chilly; I'd rather run in GA cold than GA heat! Week 5 is different than previous weeks because each day is different, and on the third day, you're doing nothing but running! Eek! I am going to stretch Week 5 out a bit and do Day 1 once more before I move on to the next day.
In other happy news . . . I broke my plateau! This is the only time in my life that I have stuck with healthy eating and exercise to break what was basically a three-week plateau. Today, I weighed in at 184.4, which means I am down 19 pounds since January. And it means I'm 4 pounds away from my next goal weight, which means I will be ordering a new bathing suit soon! At 177 pounds, I will have reached my half-way point (I can't believe I'll soon be in the 170's! That's marvelous!), which means I get a bigger reward. I'm thinking about looking into tooth bleaching. I know some people think tooth bleaching is completely superficial, and certainly, it is superficial, but after I had braces for four years in high school, my teeth were no longer as white as they could be. They've seemed dingy to me ever since then. It's funny, because I sure don't notice other people's teeth, so I doubt they notice mine. But it bothers me a bit, and rewards are about things I wouldn't normally buy myself, so I want to look into it. I think it might be more money than I want to pay.
This weekend, I learned that I have fit back into three pairs of pants I wore in college. That's really exciting! I'm back in clothes that I haven't worn since I had my first surgery for ovarian cancer (which changed the shape of the front of my body and left a ridge of scar tisue in my abdomen). I freecycled a variety of size 16 dresses and shirts. Woo-hoo!
I'm glad I took the time this morning to write this post. I was feeling a bit crappy emotionally, but now I'm excited. I love being able to share with y'all; it keeps me accountable, and in general, it feels great to share with people who understand.
Also, my husband takes the second/last part of his mid-Ph.D. quals exam tomorrow. I am confident he will do well, but I'm still feeling a bit nervous for him. It will be nice to have it over with. He's struggled, somewhat, with preparing for it because of his accident in November. (For those who missed that post, he was crossing a street in a crosswalk when he was hit by a car that was traveling about 35 mph on impact.) He spends 4-5 hours a week in PT and is often exhausted, achy, and/or cold when he's not in PT. So even though he's brilliant (really--he is), getting ready for this test, which is draining under the best of circumstances, has been hard on him.
But in happier news (and that last news WILL be happy when it's over tomorrow, too), I did Day 1 of Week 5 of C25k yesterday. It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't as hard as I was expecting it to be. It helped that it was a bit chilly; I'd rather run in GA cold than GA heat! Week 5 is different than previous weeks because each day is different, and on the third day, you're doing nothing but running! Eek! I am going to stretch Week 5 out a bit and do Day 1 once more before I move on to the next day.
In other happy news . . . I broke my plateau! This is the only time in my life that I have stuck with healthy eating and exercise to break what was basically a three-week plateau. Today, I weighed in at 184.4, which means I am down 19 pounds since January. And it means I'm 4 pounds away from my next goal weight, which means I will be ordering a new bathing suit soon! At 177 pounds, I will have reached my half-way point (I can't believe I'll soon be in the 170's! That's marvelous!), which means I get a bigger reward. I'm thinking about looking into tooth bleaching. I know some people think tooth bleaching is completely superficial, and certainly, it is superficial, but after I had braces for four years in high school, my teeth were no longer as white as they could be. They've seemed dingy to me ever since then. It's funny, because I sure don't notice other people's teeth, so I doubt they notice mine. But it bothers me a bit, and rewards are about things I wouldn't normally buy myself, so I want to look into it. I think it might be more money than I want to pay.
This weekend, I learned that I have fit back into three pairs of pants I wore in college. That's really exciting! I'm back in clothes that I haven't worn since I had my first surgery for ovarian cancer (which changed the shape of the front of my body and left a ridge of scar tisue in my abdomen). I freecycled a variety of size 16 dresses and shirts. Woo-hoo!
I'm glad I took the time this morning to write this post. I was feeling a bit crappy emotionally, but now I'm excited. I love being able to share with y'all; it keeps me accountable, and in general, it feels great to share with people who understand.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Day 5, Wk 4, C25K
I've done two more days of week 4. I'm still not feeling super-confident, but I was able to do them in completion, so I'm going to move on to Week 5!
I went to an exercise store in Atlanta where a personal trainer was very kind in helping me get resistance bands and an exercise ball. I feel self-conscious going into stores that are solely about exercise, but he was very helpful and genuine. If you're in the Atlanta area, check out Fitness Resource in Buckhead if you need something they offer--it's fitness equipment only, from low-tech to high-tech.
Now I have to develop a work-out for my arms with my new equipment! Not that it has anything to do with any of my ultimate goals, but I'm in a wedding 8 weeks from now, and it will be nice to firm up my arms some to go along with the rest of my slimmer profile in my bridesmaid dress!
I went to an exercise store in Atlanta where a personal trainer was very kind in helping me get resistance bands and an exercise ball. I feel self-conscious going into stores that are solely about exercise, but he was very helpful and genuine. If you're in the Atlanta area, check out Fitness Resource in Buckhead if you need something they offer--it's fitness equipment only, from low-tech to high-tech.
Now I have to develop a work-out for my arms with my new equipment! Not that it has anything to do with any of my ultimate goals, but I'm in a wedding 8 weeks from now, and it will be nice to firm up my arms some to go along with the rest of my slimmer profile in my bridesmaid dress!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Day 3, Wk. 4, C25k
I went for my run/walk this morning about 7:30 a.m. (Yes, it made me late for work. I called and left a message to let my boss know I'd be late. Not a big deal--I'm working all sorts of extra hours right now.) It was so cool that I felt a bit chilly until I got my blood pumping with my first run. I was definitely breathing easier with no early morning smokers in the park, no high-humidity/high-smog conditions, and the pollen having been slightly tamped down out of the air by a light mist. I managed to finish Day 3 with no problems: no cramping; no stitches; no being entirely, desperately out of breath.
However . . . I still feel like I need to strengthen my ability to do this level before I move on, so I'm going to continue the Week 4 routine (5-min. stretch, 5-min. warm-up walk, 3-min. run, 90-sec. walk, 5-min. run, 2.5-min. walk, 3-min. run, 90-sec. walk, 5-min. run, 5-min. cool-down walk--whew, that's complicated, good thing I have my mp3 timing it for me) for anywhere from an additional day to an additional week--until I feel more confident about my abilities at this level.
And I'm definitely going to try to go out in the mornings . . . albeit a bit earlier than today. I can't get going too early, because it won't be light outside, but 7 a.m. should work fine right now.
Oh, and I went shopping a couple of days ago for a couple of new work shirts, as the ones I own are getting too big for me. I bought two shirts and wore one of them yesterday. Our small office was abuzz with people asking me about my weight loss; apparently, it's very obvious when I wear stuff that's more fitted than my old clothes!
However . . . I still feel like I need to strengthen my ability to do this level before I move on, so I'm going to continue the Week 4 routine (5-min. stretch, 5-min. warm-up walk, 3-min. run, 90-sec. walk, 5-min. run, 2.5-min. walk, 3-min. run, 90-sec. walk, 5-min. run, 5-min. cool-down walk--whew, that's complicated, good thing I have my mp3 timing it for me) for anywhere from an additional day to an additional week--until I feel more confident about my abilities at this level.
And I'm definitely going to try to go out in the mornings . . . albeit a bit earlier than today. I can't get going too early, because it won't be light outside, but 7 a.m. should work fine right now.
Oh, and I went shopping a couple of days ago for a couple of new work shirts, as the ones I own are getting too big for me. I bought two shirts and wore one of them yesterday. Our small office was abuzz with people asking me about my weight loss; apparently, it's very obvious when I wear stuff that's more fitted than my old clothes!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Changing
I did Day 2 of Week 4 of C25k last night. I waited a half hour later than I have been going out, and that was a good idea; it was a bit cooler going out at 7:30. (I live in the Southern US, so 'sunset' technically is something like 8 p.m. right now, and it stays somewhat light until 8:30 or so. I exercise in the park, so road traffic is only a concern on my way there and back.)Honestly, Day 2 of Week 4 was hard for me. I got a stitch in my side with my first 5-minute run--despite me running slowly and trying to breathe deeply-- and eventually I put my mp3 player on pause and walked/deep-breathed it off. Then I started running again. I did manage both 3-min. runs and the second 5-min. run with no stopping. I am going to try (*try*) exercising in the morning before work tomorrow to see if an earlier, cooler, less smoggy start (Atlanta has terrible smog when it gets hot/humid) helps me out. If tomorrow's run/walk is as difficult as yesterday's, then I'm going to do Week 4 over again. It is easy for me to feel anxious, frustrated, or competitive with myself for not being able to skip straight to Week 5. I am taking time to remind myself that this is a journey toward being able to run, not a competition!
Doing C25k is good for me in that way. I remind myself I'm learning to do something that I'm not good at. There are many things I won't be instantly good at that I want to try. This is the first one I can remember in a long while where I am recognizing I'm not good at it and gradually working toward the goal of doing it better without getting frustrated or flustered to the point of giving up. What will I try next? I'm not sure, but I guarantee you I'm on a roll.
For some reason, I have kept putting off getting a trainer for upper-body work. Now the end of the semester isn't terribly far away, and I can only buy sessions through the end of the semester at my husband's school. I'm considering not getting a trainer and buying resistance bands and a ball to use at home instead. I wanted a trainer to help me exercise in the park, but the heat and pollen (high pollen count = 120, pollen count in Atlanta yesterday =5300) are making being outside not terribly enjoyable. So now I think I would like to do stuff at home. I want to do things that don't require going to the gym at all, so I've been researching at-home, weight-less exercise. I'm thinking some plyometrics, some exercises that use my own weight and gravity (like push-ups), and some resistance work-outs would be a good upper-body combination. Until I get through C25k, I don't need any additional work-outs for my lower half. My core has been amazingly strengthened by running--I can't believe my hard obliques!--and will also be supplemental support for the upper-body stuff I'm looking at.
I have realized something important in this process of learning to run. Ladies, some of you will understand how major this is. I have realized that if I am going to be someone who works out regularly, if I am going to be some kind of athlete, I have to take care of my body to the point of giving up some of my shoes. During the workweek, it's not unusual for me to wear shoes that have stretched out to be slightly too big (I hold them in place by occasionally tensing my toes or some such--which I didn't even realize till recently) or that pinch my foot a little, or something like that. But if I go to exercise after wearing those shoes, my feet are, of course, still uncomfortable from the shoes I had on. That's not cool. It looks like I'll be purging my closet this weekend. This is not a small thing: we are talking about some of my most beloved shoes. My husband is in awe of the fact that I'm considering giving up my favorite red clog Doc Marten's, which are, these days, a smidge too big, and slide around on my feet a bit in a way that's not entirely comfy for much walking. But I'm thinking about giving up those shoes and probably half a dozen or a dozen others because part of this whole weight-loss thing, and part of this whole exercise thing, and part of this whole becoming-a-better-me thing is realizing that I want to take good care of myself in every way possible. I mean, really--I've recently started flossing every night, and I hate flossing. It's the same thing, at heart, the rest of this: I want to be a happy, healthy me, the me that is nurtured; and that means doing things that ultimately take good care of me even if they are not the easiest to do initially or in the short term or even if they change my life a bit or alter my relationships with some people or whatever. I'm taking time for me and making energy for me in a variety of ways, getting healthier as I go. No one else can nurture me if I don't nurture myself.
There are times in life when things are falling apart and you do what you can to hold them together. You cling for dear life. You grudgingly make whatever changes you have to make to keep going. It's all a struggle, and you are brave for just making it through the best you can. Then there are times in life when things are coming together for you, and you can either sit complacently or take those times for all they're worth. I'm in one of the latter times now: figuring out grad school plans, working on a great relationship with my husband, calming down my complex relationship with money (a subject due its own long post, whenever I manage to finish the one I've started), simplifying my life so that what is really important to me is in the forefront and what society tells me should be important isn't as prevalent in my mind. I want to take this time for all it's worth and make some big strides towards the person I want to be . . . even though it's not easy to do that.
When it got hard for me yesterday on my second 5-min. run, I pictured the little girl I was when I was three. When I was three, I loved my tricycle. I cycled my bright red tricycle everywhere I could: I was a tricycle speed demon. I was full of energy. I was full of possibility. "I'm coming home," I told the little girl in my head. "I'm getting back to the you you thought you'd be."
Monday, March 26, 2007
Weekly Weigh-In & C25K Update
I'm down another .8 pounds--woo hoo! I'm hoping maybe my drop will be slightly bigger this week. I'm itching to get down to my next goal (180) so that I can buy myself a new bathing suit. It'd be awfully handy to get to that weight in time to get my suit for the wedding I'll be attending on Florida's coast the first weekend of June.
I finished Week 3 of C25k and did Day 1 of Week 4 yesterday. I think I am going to try switching to mornings (pre-breakfast, pre-work) for my runs as apparently in spring our city's largest park turns into an mj haven in the evenings. Combine clouds of smoke, smog, high heat, and humidity, and you get one gaspy veggie paparazzo. Still, I made it through the first day of Week 4 . . . until the last 30 seconds. I got a stitch in my side that didn't want to leave, and I walked the last 30 seconds of my last run. I was a bit disappointed and had to remind myself I'm really doing well.
Because really . . . REALLY . . . I still ran HALF A FREAKING MILE at a time.
And tomorrow, I plan to run every bit of the running part.
I CAN do this. And that's pretty damn awesome.
I finished Week 3 of C25k and did Day 1 of Week 4 yesterday. I think I am going to try switching to mornings (pre-breakfast, pre-work) for my runs as apparently in spring our city's largest park turns into an mj haven in the evenings. Combine clouds of smoke, smog, high heat, and humidity, and you get one gaspy veggie paparazzo. Still, I made it through the first day of Week 4 . . . until the last 30 seconds. I got a stitch in my side that didn't want to leave, and I walked the last 30 seconds of my last run. I was a bit disappointed and had to remind myself I'm really doing well.
Because really . . . REALLY . . . I still ran HALF A FREAKING MILE at a time.
And tomorrow, I plan to run every bit of the running part.
I CAN do this. And that's pretty damn awesome.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Weekly weigh-in
Well, it's been a bit longer than a week--oops. I'm down .8 pounds, which is fine by me given that a) I ate a lot of unhealthy foods last week, b) my period just started, and c) I am down FOUR PERCENT in my body fat measurement since Jan. 1st. FOUR PERCENT! I think that rocks. My percent of body fat was horrifyingly high and now it's just really freaking high, but I'm getting it down.
I really think the charts and graphs you can get at extrapounds.com are very interesting. Here's a chart of my weight loss since the year started. I think it's fascinating how it's a nearly linear loss even when it doesn't feel like it.
I really think the charts and graphs you can get at extrapounds.com are very interesting. Here's a chart of my weight loss since the year started. I think it's fascinating how it's a nearly linear loss even when it doesn't feel like it.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I Did It! Vol. II, Issue 1 ;)
I did the first day of week 2 of C25k today! I ran NINETY SECONDS at a time, and that is so freaking awesome! After my fourth 90-sec run, I got the strange cramps in my lower abdomen again (though not as severely), so I put my mp3 player on pause and walked pretty slowly for a couple of minutes until they had subsided. Then I picked up where I'd left off and finished that sucker.
It definitely was hard. And I had taken medicine last night that was giving me cotton mouth today (like what happens when you're on morphine, if you've ever had surgery--though the med I was on is nothing like morphine!), so I spent nearly the whole time with a painfully dry mouth and dry throat. (Note to self: bring water just in case from now on.) I thought about quitting today with the dry mouth, the cramps, and the unusually hot day we were having that was making me feel uncomfortably warm. But then I thought about coming back and how it would feel not to have finished--about telling my husband, about telling y'all--and I got my butt in gear and just did it. It wasn't impossible, just hard.
The other issue for me today was that the park was absolutely packed . . . truly, absolutely packed. I had to get over the idea of hundreds or thousands of people throughout the park chilling on blankets while watching me huff and puff (though already my huffing and puffing is less than it was last week). I just did it. Kept my head up, concentrated on my form, and just did it. You can never be an athlete if you don't take the steps athletes take. And I do want to be an athlete.
I used new songs this week and had my husband show me how to set up the beeps in the program he wrote so I would know when to start and stop running. I put U2's "Beautiful Day" as the song in the very middle of my run/walk, thinking I might need some propping up then. And it did the job beautifully. I love that song.
I have a couple of great meals to post for y'all tomorrow--one of which is vegan--so be on the look-out if you're recipe-hunting.
It definitely was hard. And I had taken medicine last night that was giving me cotton mouth today (like what happens when you're on morphine, if you've ever had surgery--though the med I was on is nothing like morphine!), so I spent nearly the whole time with a painfully dry mouth and dry throat. (Note to self: bring water just in case from now on.) I thought about quitting today with the dry mouth, the cramps, and the unusually hot day we were having that was making me feel uncomfortably warm. But then I thought about coming back and how it would feel not to have finished--about telling my husband, about telling y'all--and I got my butt in gear and just did it. It wasn't impossible, just hard.
The other issue for me today was that the park was absolutely packed . . . truly, absolutely packed. I had to get over the idea of hundreds or thousands of people throughout the park chilling on blankets while watching me huff and puff (though already my huffing and puffing is less than it was last week). I just did it. Kept my head up, concentrated on my form, and just did it. You can never be an athlete if you don't take the steps athletes take. And I do want to be an athlete.
I used new songs this week and had my husband show me how to set up the beeps in the program he wrote so I would know when to start and stop running. I put U2's "Beautiful Day" as the song in the very middle of my run/walk, thinking I might need some propping up then. And it did the job beautifully. I love that song.
I have a couple of great meals to post for y'all tomorrow--one of which is vegan--so be on the look-out if you're recipe-hunting.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
I Did It, Vol. II
Week I, Run/Walk 2 of C25k completed!
In my sixth walk after my sixth run, I got a stitch in my side. I put my mp3 player on pause and walked while breathing deeply until the stitch evaporated. I started to feel disappointed in myself at that turn of events, but I reminded myself that the point of all of this is to get healthier, not to hold myself up to some ridiculous standard. I'm always telling you guys to be positive about steps you take, even if they aren't perfect (because when are we perfect, really?), so I applied it to myself and felt better.
Right as I was done, I felt like I might be about to get the low pelvic cramps I mentioned, so I sat down on a bench for a couple of minutes and breathed deeply before walking home.
But I did it!
I'm going to take two days off, I think (though I will do some sort of exercise), and finish the run/walks this week on Saturday. We'll see how sore I am tomorrow.
When I got home and stripped for my loving husband to go wash my sweaty clothes for me, I had him feel my outer thigh while I flexed it, and he was so impressed at how hard it is getting.
In my sixth walk after my sixth run, I got a stitch in my side. I put my mp3 player on pause and walked while breathing deeply until the stitch evaporated. I started to feel disappointed in myself at that turn of events, but I reminded myself that the point of all of this is to get healthier, not to hold myself up to some ridiculous standard. I'm always telling you guys to be positive about steps you take, even if they aren't perfect (because when are we perfect, really?), so I applied it to myself and felt better.
Right as I was done, I felt like I might be about to get the low pelvic cramps I mentioned, so I sat down on a bench for a couple of minutes and breathed deeply before walking home.
But I did it!
I'm going to take two days off, I think (though I will do some sort of exercise), and finish the run/walks this week on Saturday. We'll see how sore I am tomorrow.
When I got home and stripped for my loving husband to go wash my sweaty clothes for me, I had him feel my outer thigh while I flexed it, and he was so impressed at how hard it is getting.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
I Did It!
I did it, and one of the only ways I got through it was to think how I could go home and write to all of you with a post title exclaiming that I did it.
I did the first day of the Couch-to-5k. It was hard, but it didn't kill me. My new running shoes definitely helped.
I told my husband that I was really impressed by the podcast of music for the Couch-to-5k that Robert Ullreys put together, but that I didn't love the music (electronica/techno-type stuff). So my sweet husband wrote a little program to create a version of it just for me: an mp3 of songs I picked with a little high tone going off each time I should switch from walking to running and a low tone going off when I should switch back to walking. It's great to have music I love and not have to try to keep up with when I should make the switch from 60-second runs to 90-second walks this week. Now my best friend wants a copy of it so she can do C25k herself! In line with my eclectic music tastes, I have on my set Rascall Flatts, Jewel, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Lauryn Hill, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Ice Cube, Indigo Girls, REO Speedwagon, and a song from the musical Rent. I used old mp3's I finished downloading several years ago. I just wanted fairly fast-tempo songs to keep me going.
The runs were hard--no lie, they were. But I thought, "I can do this, I can do this," and got some endorphins going that way. As I mentioned previously, I psyched myself up by picturing coming home and being able to tell y'all I'd done it. And I thought about the little girl who turned into me--the girl who loved to ride her bike everywhere, who played outside all the time, who kicked ass in basketball, but who got chubby and then got no support at PE in school even when she beat nearly all the boys in a running competition. . . . I thought of that little girl and who she expected to be when she grew up, and I ran to become more like that person. Someone still in love with her body's capabilities. Someone I am becoming.
The only problem, really, was that at the end of it, I got terrible cramps in the area of my bladder and/or uterus. Strange problem, right? It happens to me sometimes after a lot of physical exertion, and I think it's related to oxygen, because if I sit still and breathe deeply for a few minutes, the cramps stop. While they are going on, they are really horrible and make me feel like I am going to either pass out or throw up--but they are not a side stitch or stomach cramps. I feel light-headed and shaky. Then I stop, sit, and breathe, and they pass. I think they may be related to the fact that I've had two major surgeries in that area of my body; I know I had some complications from surgery (as many people do), and I'm wondering if oxygen flow to that area doesn't function particularly well when I am highly exerting myself. I'm not sure what to do about it except hope it doesn't happen until I'm done with a workout and have my cell phone to call my husband to pick me up if it gets unbearable.
But in any case, I'm proud of myself for getting it done today!
I did the first day of the Couch-to-5k. It was hard, but it didn't kill me. My new running shoes definitely helped.
I told my husband that I was really impressed by the podcast of music for the Couch-to-5k that Robert Ullreys put together, but that I didn't love the music (electronica/techno-type stuff). So my sweet husband wrote a little program to create a version of it just for me: an mp3 of songs I picked with a little high tone going off each time I should switch from walking to running and a low tone going off when I should switch back to walking. It's great to have music I love and not have to try to keep up with when I should make the switch from 60-second runs to 90-second walks this week. Now my best friend wants a copy of it so she can do C25k herself! In line with my eclectic music tastes, I have on my set Rascall Flatts, Jewel, Jimmy's Chicken Shack, Lauryn Hill, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Ice Cube, Indigo Girls, REO Speedwagon, and a song from the musical Rent. I used old mp3's I finished downloading several years ago. I just wanted fairly fast-tempo songs to keep me going.
The runs were hard--no lie, they were. But I thought, "I can do this, I can do this," and got some endorphins going that way. As I mentioned previously, I psyched myself up by picturing coming home and being able to tell y'all I'd done it. And I thought about the little girl who turned into me--the girl who loved to ride her bike everywhere, who played outside all the time, who kicked ass in basketball, but who got chubby and then got no support at PE in school even when she beat nearly all the boys in a running competition. . . . I thought of that little girl and who she expected to be when she grew up, and I ran to become more like that person. Someone still in love with her body's capabilities. Someone I am becoming.
The only problem, really, was that at the end of it, I got terrible cramps in the area of my bladder and/or uterus. Strange problem, right? It happens to me sometimes after a lot of physical exertion, and I think it's related to oxygen, because if I sit still and breathe deeply for a few minutes, the cramps stop. While they are going on, they are really horrible and make me feel like I am going to either pass out or throw up--but they are not a side stitch or stomach cramps. I feel light-headed and shaky. Then I stop, sit, and breathe, and they pass. I think they may be related to the fact that I've had two major surgeries in that area of my body; I know I had some complications from surgery (as many people do), and I'm wondering if oxygen flow to that area doesn't function particularly well when I am highly exerting myself. I'm not sure what to do about it except hope it doesn't happen until I'm done with a workout and have my cell phone to call my husband to pick me up if it gets unbearable.
But in any case, I'm proud of myself for getting it done today!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Weigh-in and . . . running??
Well, I'm down .8 pounds this week, which is great. I was concerned I would have a gain after being at my husband's parents' house last weekend, but it didn't happen.
Pulling reserves of determination from within myself, I went--with my husband--to a runners' store near our apartment in Atlanta. I was fitted with running shoes that will work for me as I train up from walking and running to just running. Going to the runners' store made me feel very anxious and somewhat silly at first; as I mentioned before, I don't like doing things when I am not immediately competent at them. I had researched running shoes before I went, but that doesn't make me a runner already (unfortunately!--if only it were that easy). When we got in the store and an employee started helping me, my husband wandered off to look at clearance shoes. I called him back and told him that I was nervous and needed his support. He understood and stayed beside me the rest of the time. The employee who was helping me--a marathon runner herself (which is cool, but which I have no aspiration to ever be)--had me try on various shoes and run the length of the store repeatedly to see how the shoes fit and felt. She noted my gait and arches and, after I tried maybe 8 pairs of shoes with her making various adjustments, we got me fitted in a pair that I love. I was really happy that I was buying Brooks shoes, too, as the company seems like one I can support. I really like this ad (click on the circle) and this ad (love the title of the women's magazine in that!) at they have on their website--not your typical "be a supermodel" or "be a bodybuilder" sports ads. After I bought shoes, I picked out two pairs of (expensive!) socks to try and see whether socks matter to me and, if they do, which kinds I prefer.
I had been thinking about making this leap for a while; what finally sealed the deal was when my husband's sister (who's a year younger than me) went for a 10-mile run while we were up visiting my husband's parents. Ten miles! That's unfathomable to me. I am still so impressed by that. (And yes, I did tell her I found it amazing.) She's been training up to a half-marathon for several months, and you can see the difference in how strong her legs are.
So now I need to start using those pricey shoes and socks. Yesterday I woke up with a cold, and today it's worse. I'm not sure whether or not I feel up to going out for a walk/run with my throat so scratcy and dry. We'll see how I feel later this afternoon. I don't want to unnecessarily put off starting a formal plan, but I also don't want to make myself sicker.
I tried to do Couch to 5k at one point in college (I think after reading about it in Real Simple?), but I could never get myself to break from the walks to just running. I'm hoping one thing that will help me this time is the free podcast series by Robert Ullrey that tells you when to start running and when to switch back to walking as you go along. I also think Couch to 5k is a misnomer, as it would be difficult for someone who is really a couch potato to go out and immediately move his/her body as much as is required in Week 1. I'm hoping my regular long walks will have set me up to be ready to switch to a run/walk and then a run without the difficulty I had last time.
My husband pointed out that they had sports bras on sale at the runners' store, but the largest cup size they covered was a DD. I wear a 36DDD, or F. (Have you ever had your bra size measured? It really changed my life. I thought I was a D before!) I do have two good sports bras from Nordstrom, so I guess I'll be using and regularly washing those!
I'm fortunate to have Piedmont Park two blocks away, so I have a good place to run.
For those of you are who are runners, feel free to offer suggestions/advice/whatever. And of course, I'll take support wherever I can get it!
Pulling reserves of determination from within myself, I went--with my husband--to a runners' store near our apartment in Atlanta. I was fitted with running shoes that will work for me as I train up from walking and running to just running. Going to the runners' store made me feel very anxious and somewhat silly at first; as I mentioned before, I don't like doing things when I am not immediately competent at them. I had researched running shoes before I went, but that doesn't make me a runner already (unfortunately!--if only it were that easy). When we got in the store and an employee started helping me, my husband wandered off to look at clearance shoes. I called him back and told him that I was nervous and needed his support. He understood and stayed beside me the rest of the time. The employee who was helping me--a marathon runner herself (which is cool, but which I have no aspiration to ever be)--had me try on various shoes and run the length of the store repeatedly to see how the shoes fit and felt. She noted my gait and arches and, after I tried maybe 8 pairs of shoes with her making various adjustments, we got me fitted in a pair that I love. I was really happy that I was buying Brooks shoes, too, as the company seems like one I can support. I really like this ad (click on the circle) and this ad (love the title of the women's magazine in that!) at they have on their website--not your typical "be a supermodel" or "be a bodybuilder" sports ads. After I bought shoes, I picked out two pairs of (expensive!) socks to try and see whether socks matter to me and, if they do, which kinds I prefer.
I had been thinking about making this leap for a while; what finally sealed the deal was when my husband's sister (who's a year younger than me) went for a 10-mile run while we were up visiting my husband's parents. Ten miles! That's unfathomable to me. I am still so impressed by that. (And yes, I did tell her I found it amazing.) She's been training up to a half-marathon for several months, and you can see the difference in how strong her legs are.So now I need to start using those pricey shoes and socks. Yesterday I woke up with a cold, and today it's worse. I'm not sure whether or not I feel up to going out for a walk/run with my throat so scratcy and dry. We'll see how I feel later this afternoon. I don't want to unnecessarily put off starting a formal plan, but I also don't want to make myself sicker.
I tried to do Couch to 5k at one point in college (I think after reading about it in Real Simple?), but I could never get myself to break from the walks to just running. I'm hoping one thing that will help me this time is the free podcast series by Robert Ullrey that tells you when to start running and when to switch back to walking as you go along. I also think Couch to 5k is a misnomer, as it would be difficult for someone who is really a couch potato to go out and immediately move his/her body as much as is required in Week 1. I'm hoping my regular long walks will have set me up to be ready to switch to a run/walk and then a run without the difficulty I had last time.
My husband pointed out that they had sports bras on sale at the runners' store, but the largest cup size they covered was a DD. I wear a 36DDD, or F. (Have you ever had your bra size measured? It really changed my life. I thought I was a D before!) I do have two good sports bras from Nordstrom, so I guess I'll be using and regularly washing those!
I'm fortunate to have Piedmont Park two blocks away, so I have a good place to run.
For those of you are who are runners, feel free to offer suggestions/advice/whatever. And of course, I'll take support wherever I can get it!
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