C25K Update . . . and a bit more

I did Day II of Week 5 again yesterday, and it was fine. It was hard, but it was fine! I could certainly feel my muscles working on the running sections, and I was slightly sore, but it was nothing worth stopping me. I ran two 8-minute segments with the end of the last one being a pretty steep incline. Talk about talking yourself through it! But I did it, and I'm very proud of that fact.

I realized this morning that I actually only have to do 20 minutes (ha! only . . . 20 minutes) once this week before dropping down to a lower level for the beginning of next week. I guess that's to push my muscles and then rest them some? In any case, I'm planning to do that on Wednesday, weather willing, and then move on to Week Six.

Do you know what? This was so cool to me. The skills I'm developing in C25K and with my healthy eating attitudes are paying off in other ways. Let me share. . . .

A few years ago, I developed a case of acrophobia (fear of heights), and it's never gone away. I went from being a fearless adolescent to being a very fearful adult rather suddenly. My parents had a very sudden separation and then a long, horrible divorce. My financial world fell apart. My emotional world fell apart. It seemed like I was just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Then I got sick, several times, and then it turned out I had cancer. Then my first fiance and I broke up. Of course, plenty of good things happened in the meantime, but what it felt like was I was just holding my breath waiting for the next earthquake. I've let a lot of that go, but the fear of heights has stayed with me. When we were in Oregon on vacation, we were crossing, on foot, a bridge that was high over a rushing river. I felt woozy glancing down. I clung to the railing with each step. I had wanted to stop to take photos, but suddenly I felt like I couldn't do anything but be afraid. Then I thought (as I have used with foods I have craved but haven't really desired), "What if I just don't?" Only this time, I meant, "What if I just don't let myself be afraid?" And suddenly, I wasn't. I was able to look down, look up, walk without holding the railing, and take a great photo of my husband on the bridge. I was so excited that my diet trick worked. It's so basic . . . yet it worked.

The other thing is that I have decided to develop 3-4 blogs simultaneously for the next year to year-and-a-half. I am going to do them more professionally than I have done any blogging. I'm excited about it, and I find it a bit overwhelming. When I feel overwhelmed, it's easy to just STOP thinking about whatever is overwhelming me and do nothing. Today, instead, I thought, "Why don't I break this down the way C25K breaks down running? I can do anything in little pieces." So I emailed a very successful blogger I know to get some advice, and I broke through the paralysis.

What I find so completely refreshing and exciting about all of this is that I have never found losing weight contributing anything except resent-able restrictions on my life. With this path, instead, I really am learning to take care of myself and to move toward my goals slowly, with purpose and pleasure.