Dealing with the blues

I woke up this morning in a funk. I'm not sure what everything is that went into it, but I know part of it is a combination of several things.

Last night we went to see The Pursuit of Happyness, which is inspiring in that the guy eventually gets out of poverty, but is still depressing because the people who call me week after week at work and don't understand the purpose of my organization say to me, "I'm about to be evicted. Can you help me?" . . . and I know many of them won't break the cycle. The desperation in their voices is often clear, and the shelters in the Atlanta area are often full. And other than directing them to social service agencies, I can't help them: it's not what my organization does. Sometimes I daydream about giving our living room in our apartment over to homeless people in need of shelter. The movie gave vivid imagery--perhaps even sugar-coated a bit, as their shelters are nicer than what I've seen--as to what those people's lives are like when they are evicted.

Also, about a week ago now, I had a major argument with one of my sisters on her blog, and she began treating me as some anonymous enemy rather than her sister. I eventually reminded her that I loved her and that I was writing from a point of loving her, but at that point, the gloves had come off for her. She accused me, basically, of making up my medical conditions and mistreating my husband--and if you know anything about me, you would know those are two very bizarre accusations. (My husband read them before me and tried to keep me from reading them because they would upset me so.) Still, it was upsetting for her to say those things. And I have enough discord in my family just in my relationship with my absent-or-angry-except-when-he-suddenly-misses-me father, so I don't need anymore. I don't think there's anything I can do about it at this point, though--about my sister or my father.

I am not sleeping well. Period. I think I am having strange dreams that are upsetting me, but I can't remember them (which is unusual for me) for long after I wake up.

Someone disagreed with me on my other blog this morning, and that sent me over the edge into my funk. I don't think that everyone should agree with me, but I feel a bit wounded--fragile--in general right now, so his response really irritated me.

All of that is to get to . . . my first reaction this morning was, "Let's go out to brunch; I'll feel better then."

Then I thought, Is it really brunch I want? (No, but food is comfort, and fattening food seems especialy comforting.) Do I want to get out of the house? (Yes, and I should try taking a walk.)

So I ate a healthy breakfast here and when my husband is out of the shower, we're going for a walk. Later today, I'll be visiting the gym at the university where he is a Ph.D. student to sign up for this semester to work out there. Then I'm going to work out, starting today. Some cardio and weight training should increase my endorphins.

And I'm going grocery shopping this afternoon for the remainder of our week's groceries.

I can deal with the blues without resorting to unhealthy food. Just writing this alone has partially lifted the fog.